For Autistic (or Multiply Neurodivergent) Adults: Benefits of Working with an Autistic Therapist
We understand that therapy for autistic people is not about “fixing your brain,” “curing autism” or “making you less neurodivergent.” It’s about supporting your full, authentic self.
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Why doesn’t traditional therapy work for many autistic (or multiply neurodivergent – AuDHD, gifted, highly sensitive) people?
As an autistic person, you may have tried therapy before but found that it didn’t “work” for you. Maybe you ended up masking more in sessions, because you felt like you had to show up in a certain way (eye contact, sitting perfectly still, using “I feel…” statements).
Or maybe you worked with a neurotypical therapist, and their non-affirming approach reinforced your internalized ableism – like the belief that being autistic is “bad”, that you should just “try harder” to not have meltdowns; or that your neurodivergent traits are “symptoms” of illness rather than features of your wiring.
If you feel hesitant to engage in therapy, as an autistic, questioning, or multiply neurodivergent person, that makes sense. The truth is, the mental health field is not free of the biases & systemic harms that are present in so many of our institutions – and it’s important to name that. There’s a long way to go before the field as a whole can be considered neurodiversity-affirming & aligned with disability justice (not to mention anti-racist, queer-affirming, trans-affirming, and more).
As an autistic person (who’s also a licensed therapist & a neurodiversity-affirming trainer for therapists), I want to offer hope that there are options for neurodivergent folks. In particular, you might find it helpful to work with an autistic & neurodiversity-affirming therapist.
To learn more, check out these blog posts:
>> Why Talk Therapy Isn’t (Always) Helpful for Neurodivergent People (+ What to Try Instead)
>> How Do I Know if I’m Neurodivergent? | The Umbrella of Neurodivergence
What is neurodiversity-affirming therapy?
Neurodiversity-therapy is a framework that:
acknowledges different types of brains & nervous systems – including highly sensitive, autistic, ADHD, neurotypical, and more
challenges the idea of a single “normal” brain
celebrates the range of human experiences, bodies, and brains
approaches difference with curiosity
helps you work with the strengths & challenges of your neurotype, without trying to fundamentally change who you are
Neurodiversity-affirming therapy can look like:
allowing you ample time to process information & form a response, even if it’s longer than a “typical” pause
providing a sensory-friendly environment, with access to fidgets, soft lighting, blankets, or whatever else you need to feel comfortable, whether online or in-person
incorporating your special interests – because the things that light you up aren’t “distractions” from the process; they’re an integral part of your experience of the world
using communication styles that work for you – whether you process best through metaphors, clear & direct communications, images, or another means
4 potential benefits of working with an autistic therapist
Remember: each therapy experience is unique.
(1) Space to unmask
While you don’t need permission from anyone to unmask, you may feel more safe to express yourself in different, authentic ways while in the presence of a fellow autistic person.
For instance, you might explore stimming, unmasking, and accommodating your sensory needs more openly during your therapy sessions.
(2) More likely to be neurodiversity-affirming
An autistic therapist – who’s done the work to deconstruct internalized ableism – is more likely to practice from a neurodiversity-affirming point of view.
We understand that therapy for autistic people is not about “fixing your brain,” “curing autism” or “making you less neurodivergent.”
Truly affirming care is about supporting you as a whole person, allowing you autonomy & space to be your authentic self and discern what your goals, needs, and values are.
For too long, the mental health care received by autistic, neurodivergent, and disabled folks has been dictated by people who don’t hold those identities or lived experiences. But when therapy is designed by neurodivergent people, for neurodivergent people, it’s much more likely to actually address our needs as individuals & as a community.
(3) Similar communication styles → avoid the double empathy problem
The double empathy problem refers to the challenges in communication that occur between autistic and non-autistic (allistic) people – not due to the deficits of either group, but rather due to the differences between their neurotypes & processing styles.
The double empathy problem can also refer to the general communication challenges between neurodivergent and neurotypical people.
Autistic people are more likely to communicate well with each other, while cross-neurotype communication tends to lead to more misunderstandings.
As an autistic person, you might experience more ease in communication when processing with an autistic therapist.
(4) Shared lived experiences
It can be a relief to connect with someone who understands what it’s like to navigate sensory struggles, the impacts of ableism, and other challenges of being an autistic (or multiply neurodivergent – AuDHD, highly sensitive, gifted) human.
Additionally, an autistic therapist may be able to offer perspectives that resonate with you & acknowledge the complexity, nuance, and depth of your experiences – ex: if you want to process your feelings about an upcoming social interaction (while also exploring the parts of you that mask, parts that feel tired of masking, and parts that judge yourself for masking).
FAQs about Therapy for Autistic Adults
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While there’s no one best modality for everyone – given the range of needs, goals, and processing styles – the primary modalities I’d recommend for trauma processing & nervous system healing include:
Intensives (extended sessions, concentrated in a short period of time)
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This will depend on your goals, needs, and processing style. Some folks benefit from weekly therapy across multiple weeks, months, or years.
Others prefer intensive therapy, meeting for extended sessions across a short period of time (ex: 3 90-min sessions across 1-2 weeks). Intensive programs may be scheduled on a one-time basis, or on a recurring basis (monthly, seasonally, annually).
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In a nutshell, it’s therapy designed for neurodivergent brains & sensitive nervous systems – autistic, ADHD, gifted, highly sensitive, and more.
» Learn more about neurodiversity-affirming individual therapy.
» Learn more about neurodiversity-affirming couples therapy.
Looking for an autistic therapist who specializes in supporting autistic (or multiply neurodivergent) adults?
Online Therapy in Colorado | Coaching Worldwide
Helping highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults heal their nervous systems & connect with their authentic selves.
About the Author
Liz Zhou (she/her) is a neurodivergent therapist, coach, and speaker. She helps highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults & couples heal their nervous systems and connect with their authentic selves, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, EMDR, IFS, psychedelic integration) that are quicker & more effective than traditional talk therapy. Liz offers Nervous System Healing Intensives online worldwide.
