Reflections on Intergenerational Wisdom & Nervous System Healing
This text originally appeared in Liz’s Neurodivergent Letters, an affirming weekly email series for highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults who feel burnt out from wearing masks all day & are re-learning who they really are.
While pondering a big decision recently, this question floated through my mind.
What would my ancestors do?
This question added a totally new dimension & depth to my pondering. I began to see the situation differently, in a bigger context.
So I want to share this question with you, too, and let you curiously notice whatever comes up.
Pick 1 decision that you’re mulling over. It can be big or small — whether to stay where you are or go somewhere else; whether to commit to project A or B; whether to move toward an uncomfortable situation, or get as far away from it as possible.
What would your ancestors do?
There’s no right or wrong answer. What you notice is simply information, and what you choose to do with that information is up to you.
>> If your ancestors would’ve done something that you disagree with, that causes harm to yourself or others, or that doesn’t make sense for your current life context — then you can choose a different way.
>> If your ancestors would’ve done something that makes sense to you, resonates with you, nourishes you, or makes you proud to be human — then you can follow that intuition. That’s your intergenerational wisdom speaking.
Some of us know a lot about our ancestors – where they came from, what their lives were like, the historical events (& collective traumas) that they lived through, and even where certain personality traits come from within the family.
On the other hand, some of us know very little about our ancestors, or the history of where we came from.
There may be grief & heartache that comes with knowing, and a different grief & heartache that comes with not knowing.
There is, as with anything, the possibility of curiosity, joy, comfort.
For all of us, our bodies hold subconscious & intergenerational information. The history of who you are lives in your cells. The nervous system that you inhabit, carries inherited patterns from the ones who came before you.
Your default survival responses – to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn – come from somewhere. So, too, do your quirks, your gifts, and the innate wiring that makes you tick.
Your ancestors play a role in the story of your nervous system. Even if you never know their names, or can’t even imagine what they look like. Even if you feel disconnected from parts or all of your lineage.
Your nervous system holds information that’s older than you.
What we do with this information is the question of a lifetime.
I’ll leave you with this meditation: Connect with an Ancestor — a guided practice by Dr. Resmaa Menakem, author of My Grandmother’s Hands.
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About the Author
Liz Zhou (she/her) is a neurodivergent therapist, coach, and speaker. She helps highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults & couples heal their nervous systems and connect with their authentic selves, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, EMDR, IFS, psychedelic integration) that are quicker & more effective than traditional talk therapy. Liz offers Nervous System Healing Intensives online worldwide.
