Navigating Neurodivergence in a Complex World: Joy, Grief, Care, Hope
This text originally appeared in Liz’s Neurodivergent Letters, an affirming weekly email series for highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults who feel burnt out from wearing masks all day & are re-learning who they really are.
As highly sensitive & neurodivergent people, I think a lot of us are used to navigating complexities and holding dualities.
For example: the complexity of masking to stay safe and unmasking to conserve energy, while learning who you are underneath the masks.
The duality of experiencing deep joy and deep grief, sometimes within the same hour. Or the same breath. And the whiplash of shifting between these two states.
The paradox of parts of you wanting connection, and parts of you wanting to be alone.
Being hyper-focused on one thing, while being completely unaware of all the other things in your environment. (Which is why you might cut the onions perfectly, while the potatoes burn in the oven and the sink overflows.)
Then there is the complexity of being a human in this world, in these times. Where any given day might ask us to hold grief in one hand & joy in the other.
In an art workshop I attended recently, we participants were invited to practice Tonglen. This involves:
💗 breathing in, while being with the suffering of oneself and others
💗 breathing out, while being with a wish for relief
We wrote down statements that expressed acknowledgment of suffering, as well as a wish for relief. Here’s what I wrote — I invite you to hold the duality with me.
🥀 I feel the sadness of witnessing the world in its suffering & inhumanity.
🌹 I feel the deep care & hope of those who move us toward a better world, through everyday acts of resistance & love.
Acknowledging both the suffering and the wish feels grounding to me. It’s not spiritual bypassing. It’s not hopelessness. It’s being with all of it, as it is, right now.
A few questions for you:
What are you bearing witness to?
What is your wish for relief?
How is it to be with both?
With care,
Liz 💗
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About the Author
Liz Zhou (she/her) is a neurodivergent therapist, coach, and speaker. She helps highly sensitive, neurodivergent adults & couples heal their nervous systems and connect with their authentic selves, using brain-body modalities (Brainspotting, EMDR, IFS, psychedelic integration) that are quicker & more effective than traditional talk therapy. Liz offers Nervous System Healing Intensives online worldwide.
